My Tensor Tympani Syndrome Story

Every apartment and houses I lived in Germany had problems with the walls, which one can hear clearly what happens in the other side as if there is no wall at all. While it is said that privacy is an important thing for Germans I feel I never had privacy in Germany; I can hear every private talk and intimate life of my neighbours and they can hear mine. It makes me feel I'm never on my own and everything I do I have to be concerned about those who may hear it - One feels lonely when in companion of people they can not interact with and expose the self, not when alone. For that reason I gave up playing guitar, still photography at home and some workouts at home just to respect my neighbours' space, meaning not distract them with my presence. What was left for me was reading books, Yoga, listening to music and movies with headphones. On the other hand, reading and Yoga is also difficult because three of my neighbours don't have the same care, which makes it hard to do anything that demands a certain concentration.

Eventually I developed Tensor Tympani Syndrome, which is caused when one over protects the ears, as I was always wearing earplugs or headphones at home. My problem doubled then, because while I can not leave home or open the windows without protecting my over sensitive ears caused by the syndrome, I have now to avoid wearing earplugs as much as possible at home in order to not make it worse.

I tried to talk to the loud neighbours but they didn't help. I talked to the building administrator but he also didn't care, nor the police. What they all say is that the building is old and there is nothing they can do about it. It sounds as a deny to actually face the problem, by accepting it and pretending the problem is not social but individual; Me, who as complaining person don't fit in and want to act. But it is exactly for the building being old and having problems people should be extra careful, not careless pretending that there are no problems. I was even told to not go talk to my upstairs neighbour, for him being very old. I can't talk to a neighbour about them being loud for them being old, meanwhile I developed an illness and nobody cares about helping me to get better but worse; Because I am young I am expected to be “strong”. I sure would move out if I had the financial conditions. The point is the social norm created to avoid individual action and individual standing out contrasting against the egalitarian social ideology – The conformity.

This lack of privacy makes it difficult to be alone with one's own thoughts, which is essential for the psychological aspect of the individual being; Being able to step outside of the social stage and have a private life for the private self[1].

"Never is he more active than when he does nothing, never is he less alone than when he is by himself." - Cato

With my ear condition I could not work in the job I had and I should not work on most jobs. From a successful self-employed business I became jobless and I got a part-time job instead. Because it is hard to sleep with loud neighbours when I should not wear earplugs I have missed many days of work for tiredness, which makes it hard to keep any job I may get. So I got fired from the MiniJob I had got.
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I talked to my quiet neighbours and they told me that they don't complain about the loud people because they feel scared or because they know it won't help. One of them suggested me to put on loud music and hope for the loud neighbours to move out. Apparently it is what some people feel as the only acting option, the violence.

[1] ARENDT, H. The Life of the Mind: The groundbreaking investigation on how we think.  New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 1977.